16 Mar 2015
5 Mar 2015
His belief in things not seen started with him praying fervently for a brother. He had been six years old at the time and he had come to his wits end from the torment and torture of his twin sisters Taiwo and Kehinde affectionately known by all as Tai avec Kay because of their love of all things french. His sisters used him as their life sized doll. To their mind he was a doll to be dressed up and played with as they pleased, when they weren't putting him in female garb, they were practising braiding on his hair; in those days he had a full head of hair and they enjoyed nothing better than putting braids or cornrows in his hair. They just saw it as good old fun and didn't see how he longed for escape from their feminine wiles and male company.
His father didn't have the time to play football with him, teach him to knot a tie or other manly things which he suspected he should be doing and learning, because his father, the so called Area Fada (father) was busy fathering everybody else, however as fate would have it this turned out to be a saving grace, because it was as a result of his fathers good deeds that Ade's prayers were answered.
On that fateful night Ade's sisters had attempted to relax his hair; they'd been twelve at the time and he had a healthy afro, they had made relaxer (homemade mind you) to straighten their hair and of course had tried it on his hair to see if it worked. The result of their experiment had left Ade with a patchwork quilt of a scalp and large clumps of hair falling out, he'd run to his room and fell on his knees in prayer.
He had heard his mum praying to something or someone called the I am that I am, he'd remembered going to his mother's room to ask her for something and meeting her on her knees calling out to the
I am that I am, and something in his 6 year old mind had stopped him in his tracks, he had sensed that this was a sacred moment, not one to be disturbed by a young boys request. He had sat in the doorway of his mother's room listening to her conversation with the I am that I am and he'd repeated it on that night, changing the words to suit his request.
Ade prayed that night for a brother, he said, I am that I am, I know that you have a good relationship with my mother, because she talks to you all the time, please I want you be my friend also and I want you to please give me a brother. A brother that I can play with, one that will understand me and I will understand him. I want a brother that I can play ball with, a brother that will defend me and protect me from the french twins. A brother that will be with me everywhere, and if you do this for me, I am that I am I will be your friend to till the day I die.
He got up to the sound of his father opening the front door, his father Papa Adegun was standing in the doorway with a baby bundled his arms, Ade didn't have to look at the baby to know that it was a boy, he had prayed and the I am that I am had answered his prayers.
His father looked down at him and said, "Ade my son look at what I found on my way home" to which he answered I know Papa, you found my brother.
This is a continuation of the Love Recounted Novella to read the earlier incerpts search Love Recounted on the blog. Thanks for stopping by, this is a work in progress.
18 Dec 2014
Douggie Errol was a man about his business.
He looked at himself in the wall to floor mirror that covered the left side of his bedroom in his Canary Wharf Penthouse and smiled at his image. Damn I look good he said. Some folks said that he looked like Denzel's african brother because of his pronounced features but he didn't know his origins. He knew that Baba Adigun the Area father or Baba Oni Baba (father of the fatherless) as he was called by the yoruba and Nigerian community had found him in a bin, wrapped in african loin cloth on a dark, cold, winters night coming home from work. He'd heard his cries and on closer inspection had found a baby lying in the bin strategically placed for discovery. He'd had an inkling that the mother must be yoruba or at best Nigerian because of the cloth he was swaddled in and had decided to take him home. And that as they say is where his story began. Baba Adigun or Baba Adi as they fondly called him had named him Dotun but he'd decided to change his name by depol to spite his birth mother just incase she came looking for him.
The mystery of his birth was the reason why he was a misogynist, the only semblance of love he had for womankind was what he had for his daughters and Mama Adigun the woman who had mothered him who he loved unconditionally and the nearly love he'd had with his ex wife Dazzlina who he'd stolen from his arch enemy Warren Clarke just to spite him. Stealing other men's women had become his stock in trade since he'd learnt that this would cut a man deeper than stealing his money provided it was a woman that he cared about. He'd learnt that it was all about the pride.
Douggie broke out of his reverie of his twisted nature and looked at himself again in the mirror and laughed. He'd used his wits and soo called resemblance to Denzel (which he didn't believe) to get in the game. Baba Adi had been prepared to educate him to any level but he'd only gone as far as university in International Business Relations and then proceeded to get a masters in Criminology from the streets. He'd shipped himself of to Nigeria after his degree, and had convinced his brother Big Ade; Ade Adigun to live in Lagos with him for 5 years, after setting themselves up in Eko and making their name in Naija they'd proceeded Stateside and replicated their formula.
After 25 years of hard graft Douggie's tentacles spread far and wide and his brother Big Ade Adigun was his right hand spar. Simply put, they run things, they'd succeeded in legitimising their many businesses and this was all Douggie cared about now because if anything happened to him he didn't want no dogs barking at his businesses. A dog was a dog even if was dressed in Armani and he'd had his fingers burnt in the past and wasn't about to repeat that mess. Not with his twin assets becoming young ladies; well Luma anyway, his Aurielle wasn't a lady cos she had too much of her daddy in her.
He laughed, admiring himself one last time, when he'd first made a penny he used to dress in Armani, Gucci and Hugo boss until he'd moved back to London and discovered Ozwald Boateng in Saville Row. That brother really knew how to stitch a brother up, chuckling at his own joke he picked up the phone to call his brother Ade.
Ah, Eje Mi (my blood) he said as Ade picked on the third ring. Are you ready, he asked?.
Yes oh! I dey down (I'm downstairs) Ade replied in his deep baritone, smoking Havanas a taste that he'd acquired since they'd become rich had gotten his voice deeper and raspier over the years.
Okay I'm a meet you down in a few Douggie said making his way downstairs to meet his brother.
Ah Bros see as you fine oh Ade shouted as Douggie approached his car, you turned me to your driver again tonight right!. They both fell out laughing knowing that Ade struggled with the drink driving thing.
Boy you looking take-away tonight! is that Armani? he asked eyeing Douggie's suit. No Son this is an Ozwald Boateng joint, Douggie replied smiling, Obe Toh dun Owo Lo Nkpa (Soup wey sweet, nah money kill am!) he said!. Yes Oh! Sweet Suit Ade whistled, if you weren't my brother I'd fancy you myself, you ugly moddah!, and with that they both fell out laughing. You dey craze! stupid boi, Douggie replied in his most Konk yoruba accent, with your ugly face. I'm just managing you tonight because my twin assets have abandoned me, don't worry bros I'll remind them when they start calling me Papacita, when they're fixing to ask for something!. Luma said she wanted an Evoque for their up coming birthday the other day. Oh Okay Ade said, in that case you better by Aurielle a 6 ton trailer truck with rims. They both started laughing uncontrollably. I told her sister maybe I'd have to buy her a yacht.
I planned hitting that joint with those two beauties by my side, one on each arm, but Luma blew me out for the Peeps Awards; some urban version of the pride of Britain, she's going with Baba, you know she's always on some charity bind, and heaven only knows what Aurielle's up to tonight.
Ah, best we don't know Ade snickered, locking eyes with his brother, knowing his niece was always up to something shady. They didn't call her the wrong twin for nothing!
Oh yeah! Ade replied, so that's why Babi Mi (my father) was all tuxed up when I left the house tonight. I asked where he was going and he said, I should "Hold My Side!" Ade said laughing, can you imagine? he said he had a date with a beautiful woman. I was wondered why Mama was fussing over his appearance rather than over that statement, figures now. You know Luma and Baba are two of a kind, Douggie said, and that's where she got all that good stuff from. Damn right his brother replied, because we all know she didn't get it from you, cos you're as bad as Hell! he said with the emphasis on Hell.
I can't tell Douggie replied doing a little two step shuffle in front of the car, before getting in, they both fell out laughing again. I see you practicing for tonight, you ugly moddah Ade said almost in tears at his brothers antics. Very few people got to see this side of Douggie.
Oh Boy Hold Your Side Oh! they both shouted their regular punchline at each other, locked eyes and fists as they drove off to the Mobos to kick up a storm.
16 Dec 2014
She closed the boot of her fathers Range with a loud thud and looked up to see him staring at her intently, he came over to help her with her bags, he had just picked her up from one of her numerous charitable events, Luma was always working a good cause, she just couldn't her spreading her good vibes and her father was proud of his shinning star, to his mind she shinned brighter than all the stars above but the news of her dating (he didn't even want to use that word!) his arch enemies son had him seriously worried!, as much as he loved his little Luma, this was not a relationship he could allow and he couldn't kill the boy either because that would jeopardise his relationship with his baby, she'd stopped talking to him for months several years ago when he'd interfered in a bad situation between her and a boy that had turned out to be a playa. He shown the little twerp that he was the man that put playas in and out of the game and had him beaten within an inch of his tiny little lift for playing his Luma. She knew straight of the bat that he was responsible and they'd had their first and he hoped last almighty low out. He had to agree with her point that if he intervened in every bad situation she encountered she become ostracised and she had to live her life and make her own mistakes and learn from them, Aurielle on the other hand was an entirely different story, he chuckled silently thinking how boys where afraid to mess with her, she handled her business ruthlessly, trampled over young hearts mercilessly and entirely too much of her daddy in her. In her case the apple fell a little to close to the tree and he thought this as her father.
His baby's voice took him out of his reverie, "is everything okay Daddy?, she'd asked" yeah baby. I was just wondering what kinda mess you're sisters getting into right now. Oh Daddy, you know they'll always be some drama with your bad daughter. They both fell out laughing at the prospect of whatever drama Aurielle was cooking up. She just thrived on it.
Anyway Daddy I was thinking about our birthday, okay Douggie said, what about it, well how much do you love me Dad? well baby, can you count the stars? Luma smiled at his response and their customary father daughter banter. Together they always had good vibes, he had it with both of his twin assets but it was stronger with Luma because of her goodness and her heavenly aura, she had a way of pulling you towards her and in her presence you felt yourself a better person no matter your sins. Baby are you fixing to ask for something big. She laughed at his comment because he knew her too well. No daddy, just a Range. Okay, so you'd like a Range for your 25? well baby you can't drive the same car as your Daddy, it wouldn't be good for my PR. No Papa she responded, she knew he loved it when she called him Papa. I was thinking about an Evoque it's much more feminine, smaller and I can used it to ferry all my stuff when I'm going to events rather than you ferrying me all about all the time. Sweetie you know your papa don't mind doing that. I have fun seeing you do your Mother Theresa stuff, he joked. That's not funny dad, she smiled in response, but I feel I should be a little less dependant on you. I understand baby, but do you know what your sister wants, because if you want a car, she'll want a yacht. The both fell out laughing again, knowing that Aurielle was always trying to out do her sister and no car, no matter how expensive would be good enough for her if her sister go a Range.
Well Daddy I'll find out what's she wants but I'm definitely getting the Evoque so start fixing to get her a yacht and if you can't do that swing her an invite on P Diddy's next party. I'm sure she'll settle for that. Hmmmm he thought, Douggie knew he could easily swing it (he knew everybody that was anybody) but he said, baby you know I don't want any of those hunters ogling my assets. You two are the most valuable things I've got and I know what happens on that yacht. I've been to a few of his parties remember and we all know that Diddy don't care about nothing as long as your money's long. I don't want her getting into some mess on that yacht because all my connections are important for business, but we'll have to talk about this later because I see your mama watching from the window and I don't want no part of her today.
So you won't be coming in for coffee then papa, she asked in her sweetest voice. No he said giving her a parting bear hug and kiss on the forehead, and with that Douggie got into his Range and speed off thinking about the mess of Luma and Menase Clarke's impending relationship. How could he stop his Luma from falling in love with the son of his lifelong enemy Warren Clarke; a man whose relationship he'd sabotaged with the love of his life Dazzlina, stealing her from right under his nose.
20 Nov 2014
Hey Jill wassup? Hey Jack, she responded looking him up & down, he sure had grown since the last time they'd climbed up the hill together.
Jack and Jill went up the Hill.
So Jill what wassup now? abi you're trying to ignore me?
Ah ah Jack! She responded, Wetin dey on top this hill? Why do you always like asking silly questions?
E be like say that time wey you fall affect you bad.
Ah Ah Jill what's with the 'tude girl, I'm just trying to be friendly oh!, abi you woke up on the wrong side this morning? Okay so you want to fetch water, make we dey go now.
Yes Oh Mr Jack! Naija Water board don cut our water again! so I wan fetch water! So... how far now?
Jack and Jill climb up the hill to fetch some kegs of water.
So Jill, what are you wearing now? Like how Jack, she responded with major attitude? wetin that one come mean now and how it take concern you? Mchew!!
I mean, this your Wonder Woman swagg, is this how you dress just to fetch water these days?
Jill almost fell down laughing, Ah ah Jack!, you no go ever change, abi you no know say na Naija we dey? and a Mega Babe like me gats to be on top form even if na Gala I wan buy! After all you no know who person go jam for road or gill and to answer your question I'm wearing; Peruvian/ Mongolian blended hair, Dior Addict perfume, Wonder Woman custom made jumpsuit and Victoria Secret down under on top colour blocking platform shoes! and I dey ping my fiends, you feel me!
Damn Jill, slow down Jack whistled, No be small thing Oh! you sef, person no dey play with you!
We're playing not fighting Jill responded, every time you go dey question person like say no be naija you dey! This dreads wey you carry for head no be unto swagg!? Na him now, she kissed her lips, answering her own question not giving Jack the opportunity to respond. He secretly smiled at that knowing that babes went crazy for his dreads!
Anyway Jill you can fetch first, Jack offered giving Jill the opportunity to fill her Keg first on reaching the communal pump at the top of the hill, luckily there was no one else, but she was to busy scoping the area. So Jill wetin you dey find Jack asked pretending not to know what she was looking for. Abi something don lost? You drop money abi na your earring you dey find?
Jack, I take God hand beg you, carry your wahala dey go!. I dey wait person, she responded with annoyance (God, which kind bad market be dis today with Jack now!), everytime she climbed this hill somehow, someway Jack must to dey here too! Na Wah! Eh come be like say they send am for me!
Jill come make we dey go, Jack shouted her out of her thoughts, knowing fully well what she was looking for. Jack, I know say we follow come together but as I leave my house this morning, no be you wey I carry for mind she responded.
That thing wey you dey find, dey your front, he thought. Okay, so you dey scope big boys abi? Jack asked. And so she responded. Jill soo, for your mind you feel say big boys go come fetch water here, na him you come dress like person wey wan go MTV Base awards in the hope of Lekki Big Boys Carry Waka! Chei I don Die, Jack fell out laughing! Jill was too embarrassed to respond knowing that Jack had caught her straight out!
Anyway Jack I know say you dey laugh me but how do you see yourself? well, Jill I could say I'm a big boy in some ways, but if I need water, I need water! (in fact he didn't water at all, he'd been waiting around in the hope that she'd pass by). Furthermore Jill make I advise you, those people wey you dey find, no dey come this kind place for day time. Dem dey shine for night!
Babes nothing do you, you fine die, you don't need to hang around scoping for any guys, make I help you drop your keg for crib eh!. Ah ah Jack you go fit carry 2 kegs Jill asked?, common babes look me well now, you can see say I dey capable!. Sure thing Jill thought, he was cut, but this was Naija after all and no be fine boy wey person go chop!
He did however have a fine crowing glory of dreads that she felt he wasn't about to lose anytime soon (in Naija these kind of guys were either in entertainment or wannabes), not that she was prejudiced or anything, in fact she quite liked guys with dreads, growing them required patience, an admirable trait Jack was obviously the patient type. Na Wah Oh -- This Jack of a boy don put me for mental high jump today! she thought!
Okay oh Jack, I hear you, she said following him downhill reluctantly, so caught up in her reverie that she tripped on a stub and;
Came tumbling down the hill.
Ah, Tumblina, are you OK, sorry oh Jack said, trying hard not to laugh, but laughing uncontrollably as he caught up with her downhill. So upon say I carry both our water you still manage fall down this hill.
Chei, Mega Chic PR failure he said, laughing all the way home.
Hi folks this, this is my take on the old rhyme Naija style, look out for more nursery rhymes, old stories, fables reloaded.
19 Nov 2014
They called her Mamacita.
Dazzlina couldn't remember how that name had come about but ever since her twins had started calling her that, the name had stuck and now even their friends called her Mamacita.
Her father had named her Dazzlina because he said that she dazzled him with her beauty the day she was born, as much as her mother had loved her, she hadn't been able to compete with the love her father felt for her and this had put a strain on their relationship, but that as they say was a story for another day.
Dazzlina was that deep mother that Melinda Haynes had written about in her book "Mother of Pearl, she was without a shadow of doubt a six-sided woman;
Feeling, Seeing, Knowing, Smelling, Tasting and Hearing every aspect of life actively and proactively. Living everyday as if it were her last, dazzling with her beauty and she was only 40.
She'd had her twin assets as she called her girls Luma and Aurielle early, yoga, pilates, meditation and living consciously keep her looking good, folks said that she was a dead ringer for Amara La Negra and more than once she had given autographs in her name because it took too much time explaining that she wasn't Amara, truth be told she knew she could out twerk Amara any day of the week, she just didn't want to embarrass her girls, but they had become young ladies now and sooner or later she would seriously consider the offer from La Negra's people about becoming her double and doing stand ins for her, seeing as people really couldn't tell the difference between them, all she had to do was work on her spanish, she was a quick study with languages any way, a gift from the years when her father was moving from one army base to another all over the world. As a family they had seen a lot of the world but not enough of the world.
The sound of the front door opening took her out of her reverie and she rushed to greet one of her twin assets, not sure which one she was expecting today, they visited off the cuff and she was happy with that, she loved the spontaneity of their spirits something they took from her, they had tried the old switch on her severally but it never worked because she was the only person on earth apart from themselves who could tell them apart. Even their father couldn't tell them apart and they loved playing him!
She approached the hallway quickly to greet her daughter but was surprised to see Mensae Clarke the son of her ex husband's lifelong enemy and rival all grown up standing on her porch, damn if he wasn't the spitting image of his father she thought, remembering that she'd almost married his father but for the untimely intervention of Douggie Errol; the playa to outplay all playaz who had turned up out of nowhere, turned her out, fathered her twin assets and ruined all the groundwork and good foundation her father had instilled in her! She'd served her time with Douggie E, albeit never going to jail despite his trifling (she'd been lucky and savvy that way) however to her mind all those years spent with that trifling playa was worse than a life sentence and lot of women out there knew exactly what she meant! McHEW!
What can I do for you son?, the sound of her voice brought Mensae back to the present, he immediately saw where Luma got the light and Aurielle the darkness, he didn't understand how it was possible but the woman in front of him embodied both twins perfectly! He didn't know how he knew it but in that instant he just knew that she'd killed before and wouldn't hesitate to do so again if she had to. He didn't know how it was possible but she out beautied her twins in a regal sort of way but remained edgy all the same.
Good Evening Miss, he started to say when Luma stepped up behind him, hi Ma this is Mensae, remember the guy I told you that Aurielle tried pulling the switch on, before I smacked her up in Starbucks the other day. I bumped into him and decided to bring him over to meet you.
Oh Okay, my Luma I said, embracing the sweeter of my twin assets, you know Mama's always happy to see you and your friends (over the years we'd had soo many stray kids and animals in the house I'd lost count, not that Mensae Clarke was a stray, bringing him to meet me surely meant she really liked him!), come in out of the cold I said, wondering about the older Clarke and how Douggie would react to knowing that his shining star was sweet on his mortal enemy's son.
NB:Check the blog, for the other installments of this novella. Thanks
12 Nov 2014
AurielleIt had taken a hot minute, in fact it had taken 3 good hours for Aurielle to get ready for her sister's date. It took soo damn long to decide whether to be cute or sexy seeing as she had never meet this Mensae guy her sister was soo sweet on. Mensae this and Mensae that all day long, Aurielle just had to satisfy her curiousity.
She had decided to pull the switch on him because, 1. she could and, 2. she was born this way. Folks said she was "the bad twin", her Mum and sister had had just about enough of her trifling ways but whatever, Aurielle wasn't in the mood for the negative vibes or reliving all their criticisms towards her, she was more curious and excited to see if this dummy would sense anything different about her from her sister Luma.
She sat in Starbucks, checked in on Instagram, quickly checked her outfit, and looked up just in time to see "him" walk towards her. Not bad she thought, even if his swagger was a bit pronounced for London, I could work with this still, she thought. Let the games begin. Everything was a game to Luma.
Mensae walked up to her and gave her a fleeting peck on the cheek, he couldn't put his finger on it but she looked different from their last meeting, not physically but her whole vibe was different, kinda off! Her cheek felt cold! Anyways he considered himself a Don and decided he could work with this. So, "wassup Luma?", glad you could make it out, thanks she said and her voice sounded unfamiliar (almost sourly), her mouth a sneer, damn Mensae thought, I guess I remembered her voice differently too (cause in his dreams her voice was always pure, warm nectar, dripping over him).
Can I get you a drink?, Well, we're in Starbucks innit so that would be a good idea she said, and kissed her lips soo loudly the windows in Starbucks began to rattle. Damn with the attitude Mensae thought, what would you like me to get .....? but before he could finish his sentence he looked up to see another version of Luma walking briskly towards their table. Well I'll be ......
It all happened so fast that Mensae was in a daze, just arrived Luma or whoever she was, slapped the other so hard she fell flat in the middle of Starbucks, he immediately bent down to check her pulse when he noticed she was out cold. What the fuck are you checking her pulse for? It's just a slap, no need to go all CSI on me, she'll come round in a minute. Listen I don't know what your issues are with Luma but we're on a date here, Mensae said, yes she shouted at the top of her voice, your supposed to be on a fucking date with me, this here heifer is my evil twin Aurielle who is forever stealing my dates or anything of mine she can lay her hands on!. Mchew!!!
Mensae looked up from the evil twin who was starting to come round on the floor, to the one standing in front of him with the blazing amber eyes and decided that messing with twin peaks was a definite no go for a player trying to maintain his A game.
Without another word he got to stepping, leaving the Starbucks drama behind, or so he thought!
NB:Check the blog, for the 1st installment of this novella. Thanks