If you want to know that is, it's simply the art of giving we all know what it mean's to give and the definition of "ology" is a subject of study/branch of knowledge so of course Givology would be the study of the art of giving, which would of course inspire the act of giving. Those that read my blog regularly, albeit I must confess that I've been a lazy blogger so far will note that I prefer to only write on inspiration or if you like when I feel like it, otherwise I feel that my words will sound contrived and not at all like me. Secondly I do not see myself as a blogger but rather a writer practicing her craft and the blog allows me to be self indulgent because it simply a platform for my creative expression, anyway I digress. I saw a little picture on the net with the term "Givology" and immediately I feel I needed to write sumfink! So, to my mind I feel that each and every one of us already practice Givology, we buy gifts for the people that we care about, especially for special occasions; weddings, birthdays, Easter, prom, Christmas etc, etc we give of our time, possessions, knowledge/expertise even our bodies in some instances, thing is what kind of givers are we? Are we giving to receive? Are we coerced into giving, giving under duress? Are we thinking about what we are giving and why we are giving it?'s You may be thinking uh? what she on about now? The thing is, I'm always thinking outta left field, it's just me I can't really help myself because it's who I am. If someone has a special occasion/event and you give them a present, do you expect one in return or do you take joy from the simple act of giving? Does etiquette demand that you give to receive? Does the gift you receive have to be commensurate with what you received? Is it okay to give money? Yes Oh I hear the Africans cry, but are monetary/cash gifts event/culture specific and if that's the case how much money do you give someone without ending up looking like either cheap, embarrassed or both? And what about? Recycling gifts, as in second hand gifts (not stuff bought from the charity shop) but those dodgy nipple warmers that someone bought you last Christmas because they thought it would be funny, so you decide, you'll wrap them up real pretty and give it to your Nan and when she asks, "what is it?" you say, Nan! it a nipple warmer all the celebs dogs wear em! and she says can I have them instead? And what about giving of your time? I know that this is a big deal and sometimes we don't realise that the things that you can't put a price on are the most valuable! Time given to family, friends, acquaintances, colleagues.... what about strangers? would you give them the time of day if they asked? I've seen people walk straight past being asked the time day! What am I talking about, I've been that girl! I asked someone the time many many years ago before mobile phones, and of course I wasn't wearing a watch and he walked straight past me hurriedly as if I was gonna rob him! Did you ever think that giving someone the time of day is an actual act of giving and not just a turn of phrase! Anyway, I'm running out of steam so I'll wrap this up. I read somewhere a few weeks ago that we should learn to, give without remembering and receive without forgetting (Brian Tracey). I loved that quote soo much and it resonated with me as something to work on personally. The actual quote comes from a poet called Elizabeth Bibesco, 1897-1945 “Blessed are those that can give without remembering and receive without forgetting.” My thoughts are to generally apply more thought when you're giving, don't be afraid to ask someone what they want whether it be tangible or not. You'll be surprised to find out that a lot of people prefer to be asked rather than receive a gift that's not functional/dodgy! If I had a pound for the number of times that folks said to me, I really didn't know what to get you!, well if you asked I could have told you! and in addition to that I really feel that people shouldn't feel embarrassed if they can't rise to the occasion as it were. The process of giving should be as enjoyable as receiving. I think. I love presents as much as the next person but I really like it when someone does something different or thinks outside the box. Guys if you make dinner for your woman she'll appreciate it more than that perfume you got from the Perfume shop, because it shows that thought, activity and effort went into that gift and moreover it's a gift you share together. This can apply to friends and family as well. If you want to recycle gifts, better to pass on things that you would like to receive yourself as a simple rule, don't dump your junk on someone else, it makes you look cheap and that's never a good look. Rather than just throwing stuff out if it's in good condition find out if there's someone you know who'd like it, they won't be offended or give it to the charity shop, Americans call it Goodwill. The intangible gifts as I touched on previously are the ones that create what I call memory stamps; little pockets of memories that you'll never forget, gifts you can use over and over again. Gifts of time Gifts of truth Gift of trust - to give someone your trust is a BIG DEAL! Gifts of friendship Gifts of Kindness Gifts of Knowledge/wisdom/advise Gifts of Freedom Gifts of Expertise/ability Gifts of love Gifts of body - not just intimacy but organ donation as well Gifts of Nature Gifts of the Almighty!
I could go on ... The Givology logo that inspired me to write this is from an organisation whose motto is give to learn and learn to give, check them out here www.givology.org Givology did not pay me to write this post and I'm not affiliated with them. Today I receive a gift! Say it and Believe It! Laters. #9javatar,@9javatar
Her Eyes were the brightest shade of Amber he'd ever seen, damn he didn't know what it was but shit ... she had him wide open, just like that! without a word, a glance, without whatever. Damn she didn't, hadn't even noticed his presence.....what to do?
Mensae was in a fix, he had never been in this kinda situation before, women threw their Victoria Secrets at him for Lawd's sake and he always had them begging for more cause he put in work and he was a man about his business for sure but this. This was some new kinda crazy that he wasn't sure he knew how to deal with.
He was the playa to define all playaz! damn he frigging put the P in playa and that was no joke but all of a sudden dem eyes got him thinking about a diamond ring, he was thinking major ice, carrots like bugs bunny would like, something she would show all her friends, that would make them mad crazy with envy, and then he caught himself mid thought realised that he was on some crazy shit and made a mental note to cut down on the weed because shit like this just didn't happen to him! and to even entertain thoughts like this for some female even one that had him mesmerized and thinking crazy thoughts would do his image no good, no good at all. For God's sake he had video vixens, hood rats, chicken heads and some real bourgeois sistren that looked like they stepped off the cover of Ebony and Black Beauty on speed dial, one of the many perks of being in the music business, everyone and their mother wanted to be in the music business and all he had to do was say Sony Records and they were all over him!, women and men alike. The women became his playmates and the men his buddies if he felt them worthy, every once in a while he did actually meet someone that had real talent but back to those amber eyes.
No matter how he tried he couldn't look away and the sheer craziness of the situation made him laugh out loud. "Share the joke, he heard a voice say" and Sweet Jesus, if her voice wasn't the sweetest, smoothest sound he'd ever heard. In that instant he wondered if she could sing and what it would sound like for her to sing his name in different melodies and different languages. Well.... she demanded, care to share what's so funny?. He looked at her and said I just remembered a joke my friend from back home told me and it cracked me up proper! I can see she that she smiled, so share it with me. Mensae looked around to notice that other people in the store were interested in their conversation and what he had to say, he'd gone into HMV to see how the artists on his record label were doing in the charts. He looked into the amber eyes and said, I'll share, if you tell me your name but not here, because I don't want someone else to go viral on my joke, before it even leaves my lips people be tweeting it and shit as if it was there's. That made her laugh, a sound that he knew wanted to hear again and again.
My Question today is How do You define Success? In the fast food society in which we live in today and depending on where you come from Success is normally equated with financial success. That means lots of money in the bank, a good home, nice clothes and being able to enjoy the finer things in life and all the trimmings that accompany it. I come from Nigeria and in Nigeria success is equated with finance. It's just that plain and simple, however there are soo many people that chase financial success and the accumulation of material wealth to their own detriment and they loose their souls in the process. Yes folks what you see in Nollywood is not always fiction, sometimes these stories are based on real lives and real situations. Please don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking wealth, how could I. I'm a 9ja girl through and through and I do love the good things of life just like anyone else, but in my case I feel that money should enable you to have a better standard of life not to be in competition with others. There's too much emphasis on material wealth in our neck of the woods. Having said this everyone has a different definition of success and I've always admired a left sided point of view, you know, thinking alternatively in a way that people may see as being outside the box. One person's view of success may be bringing up good mannered children who have good manners and possess the fear of God as well as respect for their elders ( this is worth more than silver of gold IMO). I think this would definitely be a measure of success i.e successful parenting, especially in a society where some children know the price of everything but appreciate the value of nothing. Another persons definition of success may be achieving and attaining the completion of a lifetime's ambition. I would definitely fall into this category as there are many things that I was born to do which I have as yet not achieved. The fulfillment of these goals would be to me a mark of success to me, i.e; fulfilling lifelong ambitions. In other cases it may be achieving goals (these obviously vary per person); weight targets, sports targets, career goals, life journeys etc. In addition to this I just want to add that while all of us want to achieve some level of financial success, in my case enough money in the bank not to be a slave to the wage anymore and actually enjoy my life in any way that I deem fit. Money in and of itself cannot make you happy especially if you're unhappy to start with. Success will bring with it it's own particular/unique problems, be prepared for this in everything that you do, be aware of the fact that people's attitudes towards will change, haters and lovers will come out of the wood work. If you are not grounded and if you do not have a true sense of who you are to begin with you may loose your way or not even recognise your metamorphosis. Surround yourself with old friends and family! You define your own success in life and you also define the way in which you come to your success, remember that we all tread a different path in life, so do not measure yourself by another person's definition of success!
Celebrate! There's no one in this universe that is exactly like you.
You are unique! Not your personality nor your genes are exactly the same with someone
else's. Know and accept thyself, and to thine own self be true!
Identify your limitations and improve
your positive areas. Don't force yourself to be someone you are not and
cannot be. Don't confuse yourself with the flooding consumer products
around you and tailor yourself according to trends or fashion that would
alter your personality. What's on trend may not work for you, and may,
eventually, make you look and feel funny. More so, it may not last for what's
your money's worth. Be careful when you choose to wear trends that do not speak to your soul in pursuit for beauty and
gaining attraction. What really matters is that what we wear or use will
give us confidence and enhance us. Be the person that is entirely you and responsible enough for your development.
notice, fashion is a cycle. So never throw out items that you love even
if it means not wearing them for awhile and its taking up your
time, money and/or space keeping them from mice and cockroaches. What
you've painfully preserved and kept for a lifetime or so will one day
surprise you as it will become fashionable again at some point in the fashion world anyone over 25 knows this is true!.
The fashion world is
periodically experiencing a retro/recycle and there you are with a wardrobe full of
original retro/vintage pieces, which you can easily coordinate with what's on
the trend and makes you spend less, or nothing at all. All you need is a
little imagination and ingenuity. You'll see that each time you wear
an old piece it's a revelation and will inspire you for the day.
fashion style icon is more than just following trends and it doesn't mean you have to be famous either. It's mostly
about just being your stylish self, the unique and original you.
You can equip your wardrobe through the years with things that best fit
your budget and personality, reflect your personality, and
speak silently of who you are without being hassled. Trust your intuition as you look at yourself in the mirror. The
truth is, we do not know how we are perceived by others and it doesn't even matter because self confidence is the key!. Definitely, we
would like others to see us as beautiful, smart, secure and confident, yet when it comes to qualifying what is seen as
beautiful there are unending claims as to what is the definition of beauty! It chnages endlessly in the media and to my mind "Beauty will always remain in the eye of the beholder!".
When beauty is perceived by the first impression it
earns, it is also most often qualified when looked at from the viewers
point of view. Idealists who struggles on identifying what is beautiful
and what is not usually look at beauty as something that comes from
within i.e something innate not just looks!.
Do you feel that you are not beautiful enough?
If you ever do recognize that there is one Supreme Being that gives us inspiration in
declaring that all his creation was made perfect!. Yes that's true, you can take it to the bank!
Wake up daily and strive for your own perfection!. There are values
we have grown up with that we sometimes forget to apply when situations are presented
in front of us. Everyday is a gift and a chance to renew ourselves and
exercise the lessons we often overlook.
First, remember to be honest,
courteous, helpful, polite: say please , thank you, and sorry. These are
elementary and oftentimes overlooked values that when exercised constantly, work wonders and become second nature. If you find these too basic, just imagine
when the same are not done for you.
Second, smile. Smiling is very
powerful. It's proven effective on both the smiler and the smilee. It
won't cost you a penny and it works wonders on getting results!, you'll earn friends that smile back at you,
enough to make your dayand load lighter. Try it and find out what difference a
smile can make.
Third, listen. It may be to your advantage of learning
from the speaker rather than telling others what you know and you won't
realize how much comfort you can give to another by just listening to
what s/he is letting off.
Fourth, pay compliment. Ever hear the phrase, "Flattery will get you everywhere!" well it;s true! You will feel secure and
confident by giving away a sense of self-confidence and security to
Fifth, work according to the golden rule, "Do unto others as you'd like done unto You!" If all of us could abide by this, what a different world we may be living in right now.
Finally, live according to your budget. I know that it's hard and I struggle with this myself! because we're surrounded by soo much stuff and there's always something new on the market. Try to buy only what is needed amd what you can afford when you
wish to upgrade your wardrobe and be truthful, thoughtful about
considering clothes, jewelry and accessories. Overspending may rob you of your
peaceful nights' sleep and ruin your self-confidence and yiu may not enjoy your purchases, even worse there's the dreaded buyers remorse!.These timeless
values will always carry you through earning the appreciation and
respect of those around you who really care about you and you may save money too!.
Don't worry about the ups and downs of trends and fashion. Upgrade your
wardrobe as far as your budget allows. Just be yourself and surround
yourself or find yourself in the company of people you want to
be, people who you can learn from, folks you admire. Strive to sport a personality that could bring smiles and laughter,
attract positivity, look confident and secure, win friends. Wear a
smile to be forever be on trend. You are what fashion is all about.
If somehow you feel insufficient, read and research and don't be afraid to ask for help. There are numerous
books on self help yourself with and the internet is flooded with
useful information which may be just right for you and what you need.
balanced personality with discipline, dedication, determination and
persistence. Be aware of choices that may have put you in doubtful
circumstances. Take action on the information that best suits your
Remember that you if you keep doing the same things you'll keep getting the same results. Here's to being yourself no matter what your style is!
Would you be able to give a resounding YES! to each of them?
though it’s scary, sometimes we need to be reminded that we are not
immortal and that life can be fleeting, slipping through our fingers
before we know it. No matter how young or how old we are, we need to
make the best of it now.
So ask yourself these questions today (inspired by Brendon Burchard):
1. Did I live?
I live without fear? Did I challenge myself everyday and push myself
out of my comfort zone? Did I embrace my own uniqueness and authenticity
without consideration of how anyone would judge me? Did I attempt to go
after my dreams? Did I make my mark on this world?
If you are not doing these things, start living today by:
Savoring each special moment you have with someone, whether it be a friend, loved one, or a stranger
Focusing on the present and not fearing the future nor regretting the past
things in perspective. We dwell so much on the minute, negative aspects
of our lives when at the end of the day, they don’t really matter all
Being in the present and enjoying the soft breeze
tickling your skin or dancing to that song on your iPod that never fails
to get you up and grooving
Facing your fears, however small or large
Traveling the world
Finding the courage within you to believe in your dreams and go after them
I know I have lived when I can face my fears everyday with the belief that I have nothing to lose.
2. Did I love?
Did I love
passionately? Did I love effortlessly, without reservation, and without
holding back? Did I love without fear of the consequences and give
myself fully to those whom I loved?
Even in relationships that have ended, there were beautiful moments. So start loving today by:
Savoring each precious moment between you and the other person
Appreciating every butterfly in your stomach
Letting your heart expand with love for your friends, family, and significant other
Relishing every touch, kiss, smile, whisper of affection, and every contented sigh that love brings us
Falling for someone foolishly and uninhibitedly
I know I've loved when I’ve fallen for someone even if I ended up losing them in the end.
3. Did I matter?
Did I make a difference in this world? Did I help others? Did I make others smile, laugh, or tremble with joy?
Start mattering today by:
Making someone’s day by giving them a compliment or helping a disabled person cross the street
your dreams and harnessing your skills and abilities to make a
difference in the world. The world needs your special talents!
Doing what you love. Life is too short to do anything less
your part in saving the planet and its inhabitants. Plant a tree.
Recycle that bottle. Adopt a rescued animal at your local shelter.
Touching someone’s soul and lifting their spirits. Listen to them. Hold them. Help them. Be there for them.
know I have mattered to each person I’ve helped, awakening the
incredible power within them to feel empowered to go out into the world
and create the life they’ve always wanted.
is never too late to go back and start fresh and anew. It is never too
late to find the courage and commitment within yourself to do something
different in order to create the life you’ve always dreamed of. You only
need to take the first step.
If you are
having trouble figuring out that first step, don’t be afraid to ask for
help from the Universe or a trusted mentor or coach. Share with them
your deepest dreams, desires, and longings. You deserve to live the best life possible, so start today!
Are you guilty of procrastination? I most definitely am. I came across this article by Celestine Chua on practical ways to stop procrastination. I will be applying these to my life I hope you find these tips useful as well.
You have a deadline looming. However, instead of doing your work, you
are fiddling with miscellaneous things like checking email, social
media, watching videos, surfing blogs and forums. You know you should be working, but you just don’t feel like doing anything.
are all familiar with the procrastination phenomenon. When we
procrastinate, we squander away our free time and put off important
tasks we should be doing them till it’s too late. And when it is
indeed too late, we panic and wish we got started earlier. The chronic
procrastinators I know have spent years of their life looped in this
cycle. Delaying, putting off things, slacking, hiding from work, facing
work only when it’s unavoidable, then repeating this loop all over
again. It’s a bad habit that eats us away and prevents us from achieving greater results in life.
let procrastination take over your life. Here, I will share my personal
steps which I use to overcome procrastination with great success. These
11 steps will definitely apply to you too:
Break your work into little steps.
Part of the reason why we procrastinate is because subconsciously, we
find the work too overwhelming for us. Break it down into little parts,
then focus on one part at the time. If you still procrastinate on the
task after breaking it down, then break it down even further.
Soon, your task will be so simple that you will be thinking “gee, this
is so simple that I might as well just do it now!”.For example, I’m
currently writing a new book (on How to achieve anything in life). Book
writing at its full scale is an enormous project and can be
overwhelming. However, when I break it down into phases such as – (1)
Research (2) Deciding the topic (3) Creating the outline (4) Drafting
the content (5) Writing Chapters #1 to #10, (6) Revision (7) etc,
suddenly it seems very manageable. What I do then is to focus on the
immediate phase and get it done to my best ability, without thinking
about the other phases. When it’s done, I move on to the next.
Change your environment.
Different environments have different impact on our productivity. Look
at your work desk and your room. Do they make you want to work or do
they make you want to snuggle and sleep? If it’s the latter, you should
look into changing your workspace. One thing to note is that an
environment that makes us feel inspired before may lose its effect after
a period of time. If that’s the case, then it’s time to change things
around. Refer to Steps #2 and #3 of 13 Strategies To Jumpstart Your Productivity, which talks about revamping your environment and workspace.
Create a detailed timeline with specific deadlines.
Having just 1 deadline for your work is like an invitation to
procrastinate. That’s because we get the impression that we have time
and keep pushing everything back, until it’s too late. Break down your
project (see tip #1), then create an overall timeline with specific
deadlines for each small task. This way, you know you have to finish
each task by a certain date. Your timelines must be robust, too – i.e.
if you don’t finish this by today, it’s going to jeopardize everything
else you have planned after that. This way it creates the urgency to
act. My goals are broken down into monthly, weekly, right down to the
daily task lists, and the list is a call to action that I must
accomplish this by the specified date, else my goals will be put off.
Eliminate your procrastination pit-stops.
If you are procrastinating a little too much, maybe that’s because you
make it easy to procrastinate. Identify your browser bookmarks that take
up a lot of your time and shift them into a separate folder that is
less accessible. Disable the automatic notification option in your email
client. Get rid of the distractions around you. I know some people will
out of the way and delete/deactivate their facebook accounts. I think
it’s a little drastic/extreme as addressing procrastination is more
about being conscious of our actions than counteracting via self-binding
methods, but if you feel that’s what’s needed, go for it.
Hang out with people who inspire you to take action.
I’m pretty sure if you spend just 10 minutes talking to Steve Jobs or
Bill Gates, you’ll be more inspired to act than if you spent the 10
minutes doing nothing. The people we are with influence our behaviors.
Of course spending time with Steve Jobs/Bill Gates every day is probably
not a feasible method, but the principle applies. Identify the
people/friends/colleagues who trigger you – most likely the go-getters
and hard workers – and hang out with them more often. Soon you will
inculcate their drive and spirit too. As a personal development blogger,
I “hang out” with inspiring personal development experts by reading
their blogs and corresponding with them regularly via email/social
media. It’s communication via new media and it works all the same.
Get a buddy.
Having a companion makes the whole process much more fun. Ideally, your
buddy should be someone who has his/her own set of goals. Both of you
will hold each other accountable to your goals and plans. While it’s not
necessary for both of you to have the same goals, it’ll be even better
if that’s the case, so you can learn from each other. I have a good
friend whom I talk to regularly, and we always ask each other about our
goals and progress in achieving those goals. Needless to say, it spurs
us to keep taking action.
Tell others about your goals.
This serves the same function as #6, on a larger scale. Tell all your
friends, colleagues, acquaintances and family about your projects. Now
whenever you see them, they are bound to ask you about your status on
those projects. For example, sometimes I announce my projects on The
Personal Excellence Blog, Twitter and Facebook, and my readers will ask
me about them on an ongoing basis. It’s a great way to keep myself
accountable to my plans.
Seek out someone who has already achieved the outcome.
What is it you want to accomplish here, and who are the people who have
accomplished this already? Go seek them out and connect with them.
Seeing living proof that your goals are very well achievable if you take
action is one of the best triggers for action.
Re-clarify your goals.
If you have been procrastinating for an extended period of time, it
might reflect a misalignment between what you want and what you are
currently doing. Often times, we outgrow our goals as we discover more
about ourselves, but we don’t change our goals to reflect that. Get away
from your work (a short vacation will be good, else just a weekend
break will do too) and take some time to regroup yourself. What exactly
do you want to achieve? What should you do to get there? What are the
steps to take? Does your current work align with that? If not,what can
you do about it?
Stop over-complicating things.
Are you waiting for a perfect time to do this? That maybe now is not
the best time because of X, Y, Z reasons? Ditch that thought because
there’s never a perfect time. If you keep waiting for one, you are never
going to accomplish anything. Perfectionism is one of the biggest
reasons for procrastination. Read more about why perfectionist
tendencies can be a bane than a boon: Why Being A Perfectionist May Not Be So Perfect.
Get a grip and just do it.
At the end, it boils down to taking action. You can do all the
strategizing, planning and hypothesizing, but if you don’t take action,
nothing’s going to happen. Occasionally, I get readers and clients who
keep complaining about their situations but they still refuse to take
action at the end of the day. Reality check: I have never heard anyone
procrastinate their way to success before and I doubt it’s going to
change in the near future. Whatever it is you are procrastinating on,
if you want to get it done, you need to get a grip on yourself and do
Which tips work best for you? Do you have your own
personal tip to overcome procrastination? Please share with everyone in
the comments section :)